It's been long since there's a decent post, and I'm here to share an article/blogspot written by my friend, which spoke the words of many queer-minded. LINK
Even though Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has been abolished in US, sometimes it feels like it exists at home. Or at work. Or at places where I am surrounded by people who have a bigger say than I do. It saddens me to know I live in secrecy where I’m not able or perhaps, ‘allowed’, to hold my girlfriend’s hand or to even acknowledge the fact that she is my partner and has been for almost the last two years. If reality permits I would have slapped myself whenever I replied with one word answers on whether I’m going out with my boyfriend or any question that has the word boy and friend in it, instead of fully justifying why that question does not and will never apply to me because of my sexual orientation but I am thankful they care enough to ask about my personal life.
It’s honestly not easy being different. The word ‘different’ erks me because it makes me feel like I should be apologetic and ashamed even though I’m not. On most occasions. I would never classify being gay = being different but in this context there is no other word I can think of.
It’s not easy because I can’t tell or share with my parents what I’ve been though, what I’m going through or my plans for the future. Being openly gay in front of my family is like being in a capsule, it’s one of the things which weigh me down. Every time I think of sharing the Pink Dot video with my mother I take a step back and feel like I owe her a grandchild instead of a note saying “Sorry mom but it will never happen”. Sometimes I feel selfish for taking away her hopes of holding a baby, with me beside her on blue bedsheets and wearing a hospital robe. I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be a parent, but I do know what it’s like to be disappointed.
It’s not easy because I can’t treat my girlfriend like how straight couples would treat each other in front of their parents. There are moments where I get sick and tired of having to restrain myself whenever I want to hold Renny’s hand or hug her in front of my family. I hug all my friends but not her. Even taking pictures cause some difficulty because we have to position ourselves properly without looking too ‘close’. I know not every aspect of a relationship has to involve Public Displays of Affection but they make up 80% of my relationship with Renny.
It’s not easy because I can only address my girlfriend as my friend, or have to call for her using her first name. Maybe this void is because my family isn’t comfortable with the person I really am, but how can I make them comfortable then? I don’t know if its cruel to shove the gay thing right into my mother’s face in order to have her accept the way that I am or the way I see things. But it is also cruel to leave her in the dark away from the epitome of my life with no explanations or even worse, with lies.
I’m not implying that my mother is rigid or that she is a staunch Christian. She is a carefree person who sometimes worries too much (like most mothers), enjoys creativity and embraces sarcastic humour. But even with all the positivity along with the playfulness, she is still my mother and the woman who brought me up for the last 21 years 1 month and 8 days. She knows but then again she doesn’t know. She is unaware of the depth of my orientation and how it is to stay with me for many many more years to come. I love her to death and I wish there was a simpler way to show her I sincerely want her to be a part of my real life instead of the one I have been fabricating for the past eight years.
The quality of courage is one thing I lack because I’m too afraid of the uncertainty future events might invite, so what do I do?
Her blog post almost brought me to tears. It makes me feel like, I'm not the only one facing this. I'm not alone.
The society is cruel, but who is to judge what is the norm?
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The norm of the society towards sexual orientation, from what we were taught, is BGR (boy-girl relationship). But who sets the rule that you have to love the opposite sex, and that we cannot love people of the same sex? Being gay is not a choice, its just like you cant choose to be black or white, female or male. Being gay does not mean that you are any less humane. Gays can love their partners as much as a wife may love her husband. They excel in studies, strive in their career, they can be professionals like doctors and lawyers, and live life like any other straight people in the society. So why must they be condemned and judged? Why should they hide their identity?
So how fair is the society exactly? How fair are you?
Acceptance from the family is more important than acceptance from the society. I wish I had a chance and the courage to tell my family too. I wish to get their support and understanding, and to share with them what my world is like. It is not as disgusting as how they think it is, because love is beyond culture, race, and gender. I am still their daughter/sister/nieces, just that I'm not the norm.
I hope that one day, I can finally be myself, to express myself freely, to stop hiding, to show how much love I have in me, and that I dont have to hide who I am, and the person I love, and lastly, to be accepted at home.
(You can read an article here which discusses about gayism too.)
“LGBT issues are often swept under the carpet, and I believe discrimination and abuse against LGBT people happens as a result of ignorance and a fear of the unknown,” Choa said.
Bruno Mars had a Grenade, and Taio Cruz had Dynamite. so they both threw them at Katy Perry who expoloded like a Firework. th bang was so loud that Black Eyed Peas forgot Th Time, while Rihanna had memory loss and ran around saying Whats My Name. then Eminem looked around and said Im Not Afraid, then Willow Smith began t Wip Her Hair which started a Far East Movement. they then crashed their G6 into a club and stopped Party Rocking. and luckily for Nelly, it was all Just A Dream.
I did this interesting search on Numberology. It's similar to Astrology but its just using your name to calculate your personality!
So.. Firstly, you use the birth name (given a person at birth) to determine the Name Number (also known as the Expression Number), which reveals the overall personality. To calculate the name number, find the number that corresponds to each letter in the name in the chart below, add the numerals up, and then "reduce" the final number to a single digit, as you did with the birth path number, above.
Example:
Name given at birth: Mary Lynn Smith.
Find each letter and its corresponding numeral in the chart above, and then add these digits together:
4+1+9+7+3+7+5+5+1+4+9+2+8 = 65
Reduce by adding the sum's digits together, and then further reduce to come to a single digit, if necessary:
65 = 6+5 = 11 11 = 1+1 = 2
Therefore the number '2' represents your personality type.
The Meaning of Basic Numbers in Numerology
1
One is the leader. The number one indicates the ability to stand alone, and is a strong vibration. Ruled by the Sun.
As lovers: Number ones take the lead in love. Love and/or the chase is of utmost importance to these lovers. There can be self-centeredness, however. These lovers are willing to experiment, and they can be quite exciting--they can also require a lot of excitement because they can bore easily.
2
This is the mediator and peace-lover. The number two indicates the desire for harmony. It is a gentle, considerate, and sensitive vibration. Ruled by the Moon.
Keywords: diplomatic, warm, peaceful, sensitive. If expressed negatively: too dependent, manipulative, passive-aggressive.
As lovers: Number Twos will bend over backwards to keep a relationship running smoothly. They offer emotional security to their lovers. The number two is associated with the Moon and, since the Moon rules Cancer in astrology, is similar to the Cancer vibration.
3
Number Three is a sociable, friendly, and outgoing vibration. Kind, positive, and optimistic, Three's enjoy life and have a good sense of humor. Ruled by Jupiter.
As lovers: Number Threes are fun, energetic, and willing to experiment. These lovers need space and contact with others in order to feel content. If they feel confined, they will be unhappy and restless. Allowed the freedom to socialize and scatter their energies, they are exciting and happy lovers.
4
This is the worker. Practical, with a love of detail, Fours are trustworthy, hard-working, and helpful. Ruled by Uranus.
As lovers: Although steady and generally trustworthy, Fours can be quite emotional and frustrated if they feel caged in. They tend to need some level of confrontation in their love lives. A relationship that stagnates will bring out their contrary nature. They love to solve problems, and if allowed to "take on" and tackle predicaments, they are very loyal lovers.
5
This is the freedom lover. The number five is an intellectual vibration. These are "idea" people with a love of variety and the ability to adapt to most situations. Ruled by Mercury.
As lovers: These lovers are generally attractive to the opposite sex, as they are adaptable, curious, and friendly. Their wit and love of fun is unmistakable. In order to be happy in love, they need some level of change and variety. They also require mental stimulation. They are quick to adapt to ups and downs, but when under-stimulated, they can be inconsistent and resisting of making commitments.
6
This is the peace lover. The number six is a loving, stable, and harmonious vibration. Ruled by Venus.
Keywords: compassionate, stable, family-loving, trustworthy, domesticated. If expressed negatively, superficial, jealous, possessive, unwilling to change.
As lovers: Number Sixes have a deep dislike of discord and will generally work hard at keeping the peace. They are very attached to their homes and their families. At their best, they are devoted and stable partners who do whatever they can to maintain balance and harmony. At their worst, they take their peace-loving natures too far, and become lethargic, diplomatic to the point of superficiality, and jealous.
7
This is the deep thinker. The number seven is a spiritual vibration. These people are not very attached to material things, are introspective, and generally quiet. Ruled by Neptune.
Keywords: unusual, introspective, intuitive, psychic, wise, reserved. If expressed negatively: melancholic, odd, leaves too much to chance, hard to reach.
As lovers: These lovers are a little spaced out, and sometimes hard to reach and to understand. However, their disinterest in material things and focus on spirituality makes for interesting, if a little kooky, bed partners and mates. They are intuitive, some are psychic, and although they can be loners at different times in their lives, they are often devoted partners. They can reach levels of intimacy and romance beyond many people's imaginations. However, their goals in love may be too lofty and thus they can be prone to disappointment when relationships inevitably fall short of ideal.
8
This is the manager. Number Eight is a strong, successful, and material vibration. Ruled by Saturn.
As lovers: These lovers take a commitment with responsibility and bravery. When they treat relationships like business deals, however, they can easily alienate partners and fall short of creating a tolerant and romantic atmosphere. Eights are generally practical and secure, and offer their mates stability and security.
9
This is the teacher. Number Nine is a tolerant, somewhat impractical, and sympathetic vibration. Ruled by Mars.
Keywords: jack of all trades, humanitarian, sympathetic, helpful, emotional, tolerant, active, determined. If expressed negatively: financially careless, moody, bullying, overly emotional, sullen, restless.
As lovers: These lovers are involved and helpful. Because they are sympathetic, they can easily be doormats. They show their love by helping their partners, and assuming their lovers' problems. If triggered, their emotions can be volcanic, and a seemingly meek personality can resort to bullying tactics when unhappy.
. . .
Master Numbers
In the first example above, in which the calculations for the Birth Path Number were demonstrated, the final number was reduced from an 11 to a 2. In Numerology, there are such things as Master Numbers that are noted, and these are the numbers 11 and 22. Essentially, the number 11 is a 2, but it is considered a higher vibration of the number 2. Similarly, the number 22 is a 4, but it is a higher vibration of the number 4.
11
This is the giver. Number Eleven is an innovator with an unmistakable streak of humanitarianism.
Keywords: idealistic, intuitive, considerate, tolerant, accepting, steadfast. If expressed negatively: too dependent, over-sensitive, manipulative.
As lovers: These lovers are romantic in the idealistic sense of the word. They want to see good in people, and they find it. Elevens are the least selfish lovers, and they are extremely considerate. They won't push you to do anything. They hold onto their partners (and their friends) and they are the masters of compromise. Elevens are tolerant and accepting.
22
This is the master builder. Although Number Twenty-twos are idealists and visionaries, they still manage to keep their feet on the ground.
As lovers: It's all or nothing with these lovers. They don't seem capable of doing things halfway, and that includes their relationships. They are generally bent on achieving in life, and their sheer intensity is something people either love or hate.
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Interesting right???
I'm number 5. Which is kinda true and its similar to the personality of Gemini and I'm a true blue Gemini! What's yours? :)
